Star Wars Timeline: Explaining Rogue One to Force-deprived Family Members

Here's a Star Wars Timeline for those who are forced to see Rogue One with Family Members who need a refresher course...


  • I: Anakin is an annoying kid overcome by CGI
  • II: Anakin is an annoying teenager overcome by CGI
  • III: Anakin becomes Darth Vader when badly burned by CGI
  • Galactic Intermission Part I: About 20 years pass by in the Star Wars Universe
  • IV: Anakin's secret son develops a crush on Anakin's secret daughter
  • V: Han Solo kisses Anakin's daughter (twice I think)
  • VI: Anakin's son stops pursuing Anakin's daughter and transforms Darth Vader back into Anakin
  • Galactic Intermission Part II: George Lucas runs out of ideas. Sells to Disney at top valuation

  • VII: JJ Abrams plagiarizes Episodes IV through VI
  • Rogue One: Set slightly before Episode IV. Parents continue to abandon children

Bonus: Attend our MSP Pricing webcast on December 15 and you could win an X-Wing quadcopter.

Joe Panettieri

Joe Panettieri is co-founder & editorial director of MSSP Alert and ChannelE2E, the two leading news & analysis sites for managed service providers in the cybersecurity market.